Monday, May 3, 2010

Welcome

As you can probably tell, I am by no means an avid or seasoned blogger. However after enduring extensive peer pressure and an overwhelming volume of letters from adoring fans, it became clear that I too, must bow to the inevitable forces of nature and join the ranks of cyber-commentators. So here are my digital two-cents worth of observations about this inexplicable situation called LIFE.

Let's begin with my fail-safe philosophy for life, neatly divided into a powerful two-word hyphenated package: no-nonsense. As many of you know, this is how i live my life. I even adorn my feet with socks carrying this same message so as to remind myself and alert the general public of my intentions. That being said, I figured we should start by investigating exactly what "nonsense" is, and how it can be avoided at all costs. Like all worthy endeavors, my quest for knowledge on this subject began by perusing through the wealth of knowledge that exists in the goldmine otherwise known as, wikipedia. Here I discovered that nonsense is commonly known as:

"a verbal communication or written text that is spoken or written in a human language or other symbolic system but lacks any coherent meaning."

Now, while wikipedia does usually seem to be the ultimate authority on all life matter in general, in this particular case I think some clarification in the form of dictionary.com is necessary to complete our understanding of the true nature of the word nonsense:


1. Relating to a mutation in a structural gene that changes a nucleotide triplet into a stop codon,
thus prematurely terminating the polypeptide chain during protein synthesis
2. Words or signs having no intelligible meaning: a message that was nonsense until decoded.
3. Subject matter, behavior, or language that is foolish or absurd.
4. Extravagant foolishness or frivolity: a clown's exuberant nonsense.
5. Matter of little or no importance or usefulness: a chatty letter full of gossip and nonsense.
6. Insolent talk or behavior; impudence: wouldn't take any nonsense from the children.


So now that we're all on the same hypothetical, albeit bitmap-ed, page, we can begin to discuss the expectations inherently associated with a blog supposedly dedicated to a diet of strict "no-nonsense." I think that with our new-found knowledge concerning nonsense, it would be appropriate to anticipate a combination of coherent and intelligible words, lacking foolishness, extravagance, insolence and general unimportance, while being completely unrelated to the mutation of structural genes within a nucleotide triplet.

As the author claiming credit for this particular arrangement of copious words you can continue to read in full confidence, knowing that each and every future post will be subjected to a rigorous quality-assurance examination, wherein all nonsense(as we now know it) will be purged and sterilized with ruthless abandon before it is allowed to bear the noble badge of No-Nonsense.